More Fist Names

I'm pissed!

I was so happy about my fist names until my wife told me hers were "Tony Orlando & Dawn."

But the cool thing is that if we ever get into a fight I can give her some muskrat love with my fists while she can tie a yellow ribbon around my neck and strangle me with hers. The thought alone is enough to make me want to start some shit right now...

If I wasn't confident I'd end up in traction I'd probably do it.

moving! everything must go!

blog city is giving the boot to the free loaders. Apparently they want to make money or something. Fair enough. At the end of the year this blog will cease to exist here at blog city, but I have already started copying my entries and your comments to the new address. It will be some time before I actually get everything over there so please be patient with me. This is where you will find all of my updates from now on.

Thank you for your support.

This Can Not Be Good

As I'm walking home with my sausage english muffin with cheese from 7-11 I notice that it indicates on the label the exact minute it goes bad. It actually says "Eat by Saturday 11:59 pm." It's not enough to tell me that if this is still on the shelf on Sunday I should probably dig a little further back in the pile?

It frightens me. Not enough to keep me from consuming said muffin, but it frightens me.

Letter to the President

My daughter's first grade class wrote letters to President Bush last month. This is what she wrote:

Dear President,

What does the W stand for? My brother's name is Collin. I'll be good. I love cats.

Love,
Lily

fist names

Inspired by this week's episode of 30 Rock, I gave my fists names.

If you have a problem with that you'll have to tell it to The Captain and Tennille.

blog city licks balls

I have had a blog at blog city for 2 years but they no longer offer a free blog service so they are giving all the free loaders the boot. I had already started moving things over here but it's been a slow process, now I have some real motivation.

I'm not too crushed, their free service really does lick balls.

somebody stop this guy

Now that Dimension Films has hired the director of SAW III to helm their remake of Scanners (a thought by itself that makes my brain want to explode), it seems that everything will be remade eventually. Only appropriate then that my good pal Nick Cage is talking about being Seth Brundle in The Fly, another Cronenberg classic. I can't find any evidence that this is any more than just talk, but didn't Cage learn anything from the last horror classic he desecrated ( Mr. Niel "Bitch-Pants" LaBute will get his later) and pissed on? Doesn't Mr. Cage realize that if he was an ice cream flavor he'd be pralines and shitty actor?

Edit (Mar 2, 07) - According to David Cronenberg the remake is in devolopement and Cage is vying for the part. Cronenberg is not involved in the project.

* * *

Lost was on it's way out with me until Cheech Marin and the worst wig he's ever worn showed up. It didn't hurt that last night's episode (Tricia Tanaka is Dead) was the best episode I've seen in recent weeks. The show really needs to lighten up, and being Hurley-centric helped this hour pass by without me being overcome by the same feeling I had back when the X-Files started to suck. One episode can't save a show, but it was enought to make me Lost's bitch for one more week.

* * *

I've been making a list of responses to the "you're short" remark, which is often the first thing people say when they meet me. My favorite so far is "Yes, ideed I am short. So short that I can not only take Dr. Ruth's sex advice but I can bone her standing up."

Note to my brother: Did you make the face? That's all I need to to know.