My Halloween Costume

We're not supposed to dress up for work at the soulless retailer, but tonight I'm going in costume as someone who could give a shit.

world gone mad

What the world is coming to?

I was watching Ebert & Roeper today and noticed they no longer do anything relating to the thumbs anymore. I couldn't believe it. They either like a movie or didn't, recommend it or not. Disney, who produces the show (and as a corporate behemoth epitomizes evil) says it was Roger Ebert who pulled the plug due to his lack of involvement with the show and Ebert says it was Disney who eliminated the most recognizable and iconic symbol in film criticism.

I thumb my nose at all of you.


In other news, I think it's funny that the new Bionic Woman might be the most misogynistic show on television today. Actually, it's really not funny at all but sad how out of touch people can be to make a show about a woman made super special against her will and then forced to work for the people that fixed her. Of course the earlier version of the bionic woman (who is now a rogue enemy) is "crazy" because she didn't cooperate.

But that's not what pisses me off about the show. They took out that cool sound effect from the original. You know the shook-shook-shook sound she made when she was running? Not here at all. That's stupid. What is the point of remaking something if you're going to leave out the best parts? It would be like making a modern day A-Team and casting Wayne Brady as the Mr. T character.

There is a reason we call it Warner BROTHERS

Because I am sweating the serious lack of blog updates, and have nothing better to do at the moment (huge lie but I can't bring myself to be doing anything I should be doing) I am going to start a "you're a giant douche" list, and I'll kick it all off by putting President of Production at Warner Bros Jeff Robinov at the very top.

Feel free to click the link if you haven't heard the flap, but if you don't know or don't care let me assure you that Mr. Robinov's major contribution to society is being a giant fucking douche. Feel free to contribute your own nominations to the list if so motivated. I imagine one day publishing a book of the list. It could be like Zagat only not about restaurants.

Will Smith just don't understand.

Will Smith is apparently developing a remake of a Karate Kid.





There goes my ulcer.

* * *

In non Will Smith related news that makes me roll my eyes, there is talk of an updated Knight Rider series for television. Okay, I lied. This doesn't make me roll my eyes it just really pisses me off!

As much as it kills me to say it (and it really does), I don't think I can live in a world where Michael Knight is not played by David Hasselhoff driving a car not voiced by William Daniels.

Get the Word Out

If I was god, I would have one rule and one rule only: Thou shalt not be a douche bag.

I once believed there was a finite amount of douche baggery in the world, shifting from place to place filling some sort of balance in the world. Anytime the some asshole blew up an abortion clinic it was there. Any time a politician got on his soap box to say just about anything, it was probably there. Any time someone put Richard Gere in a movie... well, you get the idea.

But as I observe the workings of the world I worry (something I am prone to do) that the douchiness is actually increasing exponentially. It's only a matter of time before it starts choking the life out of the most important endangered species on the planet - decent and considerate human beings.

I'd like to think it's not too late. I also suspect that there are enough non-douche bags to at least put up a pretty good fight if properly motivated. We probably can't change the world but we really, really need to.

I'm only going to say this once...

Oh hell yes!






yes that is is a link, by the way

DONE!

I have finished moving my damn blog!

No promise on more frequent updates but at least all my wit, charm, and spectacular failures are in one place for the world to enjoy. Sure I still have some housekeeping and formatting issues to clear up but that's more for me and less for you, right?

And to think there are people who actually believe I don't spend my time well...

Bottom line - if you want to impress anyone, you might avoid telling them that you only produce techno music when you are not working on your screenplay.

New Song by 2der Mooby

This is how I spent my Sunday.

Who says science isn't useful?

I can't believe this didn't fall under the category of "breaking news" but CNN.com reports that even a lumbering T-Rex (far from the fastest of dinosaurs) could outrun David Beckham. Now there is some information that will come in handy.

As you may or may not know, I have spent the better portion of the last 15 years (when I first read Jurassic Park) and billions of dollars in a effort to clone a Tyrannosaurus Rex for the specific purpose of eating David Beckham. According to this report that was time well spent. I no longer have to worry about surprising "Becks" with a massive T-Rex (that being the X factor in the plan) , rather I can set the beast loose in his general vicinity and only hope that by the time Rexy catches the world class soccer player he will not already have a belly full of bystanders (that would be the "collateral damage" as they say in the biz).

The only down side to my plan is that even as dinosaur poop we all know that Mr. Beckham will be featured more prevalently in the news than any shit that really matters.

Da Bearsss win a game that means nothing

Sure da Bears beat the Colts on Monday Night Football but this is the pre-season. Starters barely played one quarter. But it is football, it is da Bears, and they did win.

So...



EAT SHIT PEYTON MANNING!*





*I actually hate myself a little for saying this because even though his team beat mine in last years super bowl, he is indeed one of the better human beings not only in sports but period. There I said it... now get bent.