random crap

Nothing new or interesting today, just some random thoughts...

-After some deep reflection on the subject of Bud Extra I've decided that it may very well be the dumbest idea since Gary Glitter Day Care. And I joke about beating a dead horse! People have been adding booze to their caffeine for ages and they've been doing it way better. If it's not Rum and Coke then it's that old classic "Irish Coffee." If you really need an energy drink with your alcohol, why bother with beer? Be a man and dump some vodka or whiskey in there. Even the sissy drinkers get more than 6.6% alcohol with their sissy schnapps for gods sake! So thanks Budweiser for absolutely nothing (I happen to make a killer vanilla schnapps and Red Bull... Call me!).

-Can you believe MichealMedvedSucks.Com is not a registered domain? That really pisses me off. I'm not sure which of you assholes is responsible for this but I will find you. HEAR THAT?!

-A woman at work said I should be a comedian. I think she should be a career councilor.

-Since when did CNN.COM have a 24 hour basic cable channel? There's no way that's going to last. Who could possibly fill all that time with news? Fox ans MSNBC sure as hell can't.

-Who do you think makes more money with Internet pay sites? Porn or Jesus? Personally I'd put my money on porn, but I hear this Jesus guy might be due for a comeback.

-I don't wear facial hair so I'll look older... It's to cover the acne.

-I saw a commercial for The Notebook hailed as the best love story ever... by Larry King. Are you freaking kidding me?! This is the guy who said you haven't lived until you've seen Jungle2Jungle...

-Speaking of movies, Michael Bay is currently planning a remake of The Hitcher. He's also responsible for producing that blasphemous remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I think if he's really interested in remakes he should leave the classics alone and try improving some really shitty movies... you know, like the ones he made.

-Still in the movies, I should tell you back in the day I arrived at John Wayne International Airport while they were filming Jerry Maguire. It was the scene where the kid was standing on the baggage retrieval giving hi-fives as it went around. I discovered something that day I wish I didn't know. Tom Cruise, box-office powerhouse that he is, is barely taller than I am and in all truth I could probably kick his ass. So When I see him kicking ass in a movie I chortle. Movie magic, as it relates to Mr. Cruise, is dead for me. Oh yeah, and Vanilla Sky was just way too long and pretentious. To be fair, that is something I need to take up with Cameron Crowe another time.

notes - I just noticed--to my horror--that I said some of the money Sly Stallone owes me is from my ticket to see Rocky V. For the record I want to emphatically state that I have never seen that movie. I did pay to see Rocky IV, but I was a child and was bound to make mistakes. I've paid for mine Mr. Stallone... it's time you paid for yours.

Mr. Blunderson will accept compensation via money order, paypal, or even American Express. No checks please.

flogging another dead horse

I was going to start a regular feature where I reviewed stupid shows and said mean things about them. I was planning to start with E!'a new "hit" show The Gastineau Girls but after a little bit of online research revealed I would rather have the drive shaft of a Chevy Impala jammed straight up my ass, I went looking for a new topic.

So here it is, my long anticipated review of the new beer on the block, Budweiser's B to thee E (beer with caffeine). It should be noted that I am probably the ten meellionth blogger to do this.

We had a few friends over Saturday for dinner. My brother had brought the Bud Extra as my wife had expressed some interest in it. Before we sat down, the five of us stood in our kitchen doorway sampling said offering. Some of the comments included:

"That's a beer I can drink."

"Not Bad."

"Tastes like energy drink, not beer"

"Whose hand is in my pants?"

After dinner and some cheap Merlot (take that you Sideways snobs!) I finished off what was left of that first B to da E and then had another one.

As far as taste was concerned, I found it not completely horrible. Besides Red Bull, which I rarely consume, I have only tasted one energy drink. It was called "Whoop-Ass" (get it? open a can of...) and bud extra tasted much like that.

As for the combination of beer and caffeine, it totally killed my wine buzz which gives me absolutely no desire to ever drink that beer again. But I did have another tonight for the hell of it... I mean, in the interest of science.

Tonight I could taste the beer much better than the first time. But it tasted like Budweiser mixed with that grainy Flintstones vitamin taste you get with any energy drink. anther problem is that it comes in 10 ounce cans. What the hell?!

On the positive sides of things, Budweiser does provide a website (budextra.com) for their new product that will keep you in front of your computer for hours... as long as you are stoned.

Poking around on the net I found all the jokes and comments you might expect with the anticipation of a caffeinated beer. I believe I counted nearly 11 million (that might be just a tad high) separate instances of people sarcastically praising the combination of a depressant and an upper.

One guy celebrated the fact that he now had an excuse to drink beer in the morning. as if you need an excuse, buddy.

Elsewhere I read that it packs 6.6% alcohol by volume. I'm guessing what I had didn't since what I drank was purchased in Springville, Utah. I could buy more, but I won't since I can get six 12 ounce Captain Bastards for a buck and change more than the cost of four tiny Bud Extras.

But it was on a beer drinkers forum (aren't most bb's such?) that Bud Extra received it's ultimate positive review from a poster who said "it didn't make me vomit.

That pretty much sums it up for me.

notes

Next week Mr. Blunderson will review the Bud Extra website.