Ralph Nader - Enemy of the People

Big Ralph has announced he is running for president... again.

How do you spell megalomaniac-dipshit-muthafucker?


Don't be a douche bag Ralph, you've done more to hurt this country than help it over the last eight years, and you only seem to come out of your hole every four years or so... seems to be based on some sort of cycle. Just go away, keep your mouth shut, and play some backgammon or something so I'll be able to remember you for the decent things you might have done in your life for the love of god.

I couldn't have said it better

Why I don't talk much about Utah Politicians

According to Mark Shurtleff, a sure fire way to instantly turn a girl into your girlfriend is to watch the movie Camelot with her. "That's a promise from the attorney general. ... It's a chick flick but there's sword fighting and jousting, too."

Thanks Mark, you make me so proud.

I was wrong

I may have been a bit out of line when I made fun of Utah Republicans and their discussion of the influence Satan has over immigrants to this country.

Turns out there may be something to it.

Sheds a new perspective on the words "white devils" doesn't it?

argh!

CNN is actually reporting that if an election were held today President Bush would lose.

TALK ABOUT YOUR POINTLESS FUCKING NEWS!

While we're talking pointless news, I'm going to say right now that I could probably kick Godzilla's ass in hand to hand combat. Report that you CNN bitches! At least there's some human interest there... well, for me anyway.

The funny thing is that my fight with Godzilla is about as likely as a Bush election at this juncture so what is the point? What good does this information do me?

Yes his approval rating is in the shitter, and he's pissing people off right and left, but it doesn't matter since all he has to do is manage to not get lynched during the remainder of his term... which is his second term... which a bunch of idiots gave him in the first place.

And don't think for a second that Bush feels some sense of loyalty to the party. Don't give me that bullshit line that he has a duty to right the ship for the good of the party to ensure another republican congress and or president. Don't give me that because the current administration is only interested in doing things for their own embetterment. They could give a flying shit about anyone else. It doesn't matter if you're red, blue, their mother, gay daughter... whatever. You're just a pawn for their benefit and if you can't help them get what they want then you can go fuck yourself... which is about all you'll have left when they are finished with this country.

Hell, they'll probably make that illegal too.

... dear god... I just need to stop reading the news completely.

shut the fuck up, Don!

The current administration continues its ongoing policy to make me ashamed to be an American.

I am so sick of all the lies, deflections, and double standards, but mostly I am sick of the perversion of all that is decent and good by those who run this country and I am sick of being surrounded by the idiots who are helped by Bush policies the least yet still manage to be his most rapidly loyal supporters.

If you support the current administration you are an idiot.

These are the people that would have you believe that being a patriot is falling into line, turning a blind eye, and keeping your mouth shut. In what world is that a patriot?

And if you can really look around at what is going on in our country today and not be wretchedly ill, then you are a really big fucking idiot.

In the news today comes the latest in a series of denials of the Amnesty International report regarding human rights violations at Guantanamo Bay. This time from Donald Rumsfeld.

"To compare the United States and Guantanamo Bay to such atrocities cannot be excused," he said. "Free societies depend on oversight, and they welcome informed criticism, particularly on human rights issues. But those who make such outlandish charges lose any claim to objectivity or seriousness."

Excuse me, Mr. Rumsfeld, but if you actually believe those words then I wonder what exactly you are saying in regards to our society. Especially when you are part of an administration that tolerates no oversight or criticism in any form, or from any source.

While acknowledging some instances of detainee abuse, Rumsfeld criticized media efforts for failing to place the issue in a "proper context."

Context? There is no proper context, Mr. Rumsfeld. Either we are the champions of freedom that you see this country as or we are part of the problem. You can't have it both ways. And there is no excuse for any abuse. The fact that no one in the administration has to take any responsibility for anything, makes it far to easy for you to essentially condone such misdeeds... as long as you can put them into "context."

"Precious little has been written by [newspaper] editorial boards about the beheading of innocent civilians by terrorists, the thousands of bodies found in mass graves in Iraq, the allegations of rape of women and girls by U.N. workers in the Congo," he said.

This comment speaks volumes. Let me break it down for you.

"Precious little has been written by [newspaper] editorial boards about..." This is because if you read the news, precious little has been reported about anything at all. The press are a bunch of pussies. I would love for any press in this country to write about whats really going on about anything.

"...about the beheading of innocent civilians by terrorists..." funny you should bring that one up. Actually there is nothing funny about civilians being beheaded. But you forget that this is going on in a climate that you created with your "Operation Iraqi Freedom." Just one item in what has become a litany of things you will never take responsibility for. Are you actually chopping those heads off yourself? No, but you made your big violent, bloody, bed... you'd better have the balls to fucking sleep in it, sir. Your actions have exacerbated the situation in regards to terror and the cost of civilian lives. But the nice thing about being a part of this administration is that you aren't even remotely responsible for anything. That’s policy.

As a side note, I appreciate that he said "beheading of innocent civilians by terrorists," and not some blanket statement denouncing beheading in general since we wouldn’t want to offend our Saudi brothers.

"...the thousands of bodies found in mass graves in Iraq..." Speaking of policy, this is the classic stand-by. Always blame Saddam. All I want to know is how many Iraqi's have perished in the course of "Operation Iraqi Freedom?" I doubt he even knows. The fact that it is difficult to even obtain a credible number disturbs me. Some sources estimate more than 20,000, and that number grows each day. Give me the number, Mr. Rumsfeld, get off your case on this one. How many of those were civilians? Are you even capable of demonstrating even a speck of humanity? Do 20,000 (as high as 24,000 according to some sources) count for anything? can they be considered thousands dead? In any case I hope that none of them are buried in mass graves, because that is what keep their deaths from being inexcusable. Isn't that right, Don?

I wish I could Lexus Nexus the phrase "thousands of bodies found in mass graves in Iraq" I Googled it and only found 614,000 related articles. Of course some of those will only be about mass, or graves, or Iraq, AND Google omitted some entries automatically to provide "the most relevant results," but that still gives me a choice of 740 articles. 740 = precious little. But that’s just the internet which may or may not mean anything.

"...the allegations of rape of women and girls by U.N. workers in the Congo..." That’s great that you can talk about this out loud, Mr. Rumsfeld. What are you doing about it though? What have you done about it? Oh wait--we don't even like the UN. They wouldn't even back our silly little teeny tiny operation to oust Saddam and set Iraq to rights. Let’s remind people that we are above the UN because we never do anything like that. There are all sorts of things going on in the world, uncountable atrocities that this administration can conveniently conjure anytime a finger is being pointed at them.

These guys are like petulant children who rat out their siblings when confronted by a parent for wrong doing.

No more lies. No more deflections. No more passing the buck. If the people in charge could do these things I might feel better about my country.

I realize that this is way too much to ask.

this news shocks me

News off the AP wire reports that the oversight body over the internet has approved the creation of a "virtual red-light district"

Too bad we already have a virtual on-line red-light district. It’s called the INTERNET

Also on from the AP:

(AP) -- Swiss and American scientists say they have successfully manipulated subjects in an experiment to take risks they might not otherwise take by giving them a squirt of the hormone oxytocin to stimulate trusting behavior.

Their finding could have beneficial applications in treating mental disorders, but they acknowledge the possibility of abuse.

Abuse? Ya think?

This could be worse than "zombie malaria." Yes... I know I'm stupid.

But on a serious note, this could be worse than date rape drugs. Way worse. You don't have to be unconscious to have sex with someone you trust. I wouldn't be AS concerned if I thought even for a second that the most insidious application of this drug would involve horny men.

Personally I'm more worried about my boss at the soulless retailer getting a hold of it. Just think of what I might do... and for a pay cut to boot.

Religious zealots and politicians could each use such a drug to their benefit. Oh the conversions! The elections!

Worst of all, Michael Bay--the Uberhack himself--could come to my house, pour a little in my next White Russian and goad me into paying full price to sit through his next film The Island and then give it a glowing review on my blog.

Folks, I don't want to alarm you, but this really is a time for hyper-vigilance. I may never sleep again. The fact that this drug is applied in squirt-form (did I fail to mention that?) is another part of what disturbs me here. Behavior modification drugs might be as frightening as nuclear, chemical, AND biological weapons combined. I don’t want you to think I wouldn’t mind incineration, anthrax, or contracting smallpox… no thanks. But to think there is is a potential weapon that could have me punching the ballot for soon to be president Bill Frist on my way from a local Christian fundamentalist BBQ, and before snuggling up to my wife to enjoy a rerun of Temptation Island followed by a special presentation of “Armageddon – The Directors Cut.”

And all the while I would think it was a good idea… I feel violated just thinking about it.

I hope you will understand if I don't update my blog as often while I'm on Michael Bay-watch for the next few years.

Finally, I think I should be the President of the USA. I could do a way better job than that idiot in the White House now. He has only three answers in his entire arsenal. Any question that he is ever asked by anyone will be answered by one of the following, or a variant thereof:

· Being president is hard work

· I have to make difficult decisions

· That is just absurd!

I guess its no mystery why I only have one answer to the question "why do you hate G W Bush?"

· Cause he's a dick.

as if this will change anything

CNN.com reports:

Eighty-nine Democratic members of the U.S. Congress last week sent President George W. Bush a letter asking for explanation of a secret British memo that said "intelligence and facts were being fixed" to support the Iraq war in mid-2002 -- well before the president brought the issue to Congress for approval.

We'll just have to file that one away at the US Department of NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

I wonder who history will portray in a less favorable light. George W Bush, or the American people who more than willingly grabbed their ankles so they could repeatedly take it from a guy who is about as "folksy" as I am well-dressed.

i got your legacy right here!

How fitting is this?

ITHACA, New York (AP) -- Not just anybody can say he has a slime-mold beetle named in his honor. But George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald H. Rumsfeld can.

Entomologists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly B. Miller, who recently had the task of naming 65 newly discovered species of slime-mold beetles, named three species after the president, vice president and defense secretary.

The monikers: Agathidium bushi Miller and Wheeler, Agathidium cheneyi Miller and Wheeler, and Agathidium rumsfeldi Miller and Wheeler.

thoughts before I call it a night

Nearly every media outlet (including my own blog now) is reporting the story of the MIB at the whitehouse. The Man in Black with his two suitcases... (that was the first of at least 8 obligatory ellipsis)

The man was standing on the west side of the capitol building, dressed in black, asking to see the president. He was tackled and dragged away after which his bags were investigated for three hours. They were finally blasted with a water cannon to reveal... (drumroll) nothing threatening.

I'm reminded of a scene from the movie SLC PUNK, where Stevo is talking about getting arrested after leaving the liquor store for "looking suspicious." If you are unfamiliar with the material, this is a lfilm that follows the exploits of 2 punks in Salt Lake City in the 80's. This particular scene depicts Stevo and his friend Heroin Bob (who is ironically deathly afraid of needles) confronted by Salt Lake police in an incident that quickly turns violent.

That film was released six years ago.

Back to the incident at the capitol--and I offer no insight to the right or wrong of either side in this incident--where it is clear that the appearance of being suspicious is more than enough to be taken down by a swat team and have your suitcases destroyed.

Better safe than sorry? I don't know anymore. I can't attack or defend either side at this point. And yes, I recognize the abyss that exsists between these two scenarios.

I only know that sometimes this world we live in sucks from every angle, and that there are a lot of ruins in mesopatamia.

And another thing - If it takes three hours to get to the point where a threatening bag is detonated only to discover at that point that the most dangerous item contained therein was a CD player and some CD's then I really am concerned for the security of our great nation.

There has got to be a better way.

* * *

And NO! I do not seriously consider my blog as an actual "media outlet" If it is for anyone then they are going to find themselves sadly misinformed.

* * *

I watched SNL the other day. One sketch depicted Prince Charles with new bride Camilla Parker Bowles played by Seth Myers and Fred Armisen respectivley... The sketch didn't really work for me. I get the whole thing about Mr. Armisen playing up the fact that the the blushing bride is a bit--well--mannish, but Fred in drag is simply way too hot for the joke to really work for me... Now if they put Joe Piscapo in that wig I'd be splitting my sides... I know he's got free time.

* * *

I was involved in a discussion the other day where I suggested that violence might actually be the answer... at least in politics. Oh yeah, instead of all the bullshit posturing and vomit-inducing pandering everything should come down to who can beat the living crap out of the opposition. As much I dislike politicians these days, I would finally have a reason to watch C-SPAN religously if I knew things would really come to blows.

Hell, I'd even get involved in Politics if it meant that I could potentially take a swing at... well, you get the idea.

* * *

I would like to send my love out to two really excellent people who bring a whole lot of good to this place called earth, who both happen to be recovering from very different surgeries. You know who you are. Get well soon.

this nations most important duck

Cnn.com reports that a duck has built a nest in a mulch pile near the entrance of the Treasury Department. As Tourists are beginning to take interest the Secret Service has taken this duck under their wing... er, so to speak... lending a protective hand to a duck protecting its eggs.

If you think I am going on a tirade here about how government resources are being allocated in such a ridiculous endeavor... WRONG! I am actually quite glad that the good old Secret Service has something worth protecting for a change.

On the other hand, the people in the Treasury Department who have suggested names for the mamma mallard such as "Quacks Reform," "T-bill," and "Duck Cheney," should all be shot.

just for today

It fascinates me that the media is able to use its power to get Americans off their lazy asses and doing things. I appreciate that recent news coverage has motivated a staggering number of people to arrange living wills and keep their children sheltered from creepy pop stars, but I wish there was something else going on in the world that could get us all riled up...

It's too damn bad there are no causes out there. Too. Damn. Bad.

i expand my horizons

BBC News (world edition) reports that the US 'knows little about its foes.'

As if that is even news. This is Administration Policy. What the good (yet British) folks at BBC News fail to realize is that what is important here is the US knows who its foes are. That's all we need to know.

Bombs Away.