one mystery of the universe revealed

Ever wonder what happened to all that sawdust from your high school wood shop that wasn't used to soak up vomit?

I used to wonder but now I know. You might know too if you've ever paid less than two dollars for a one pound bag of corn chips.

gag me with a turkey

CNN.com posted an article today about competitive eating. George Shea, Chairman of the International Federation of Competitive Eating says people who compete in such contests are athletes who "train for their sport, working to improve jaw strength and increasing their stomach capacity."

I do that too, but I'm not an athlete I'm just fat and gross.

Mr. Shea is out promoting some turkey eating competition that will be televised on Spike TV. "Seeing these guys go at a 20 pound turkey is like poetry," he says.

I would have to disagree. Poetry can be bad sometimes but it should never make you vomit.

I know a lot of these "athletes" are not overweight and are in decent shape considering what they do, but watching them shove food down their throats might be the single most disgusting thing (outside of a White House press conference from the past seven years) I've seen. As my family can attest, considering some of the shit I've witnesses in the name of "special musical numbers" that's really saying a lot.

My biggest problem with these pseudo-sports (eating, cup stacking, soccer) is that at the end of the day who really gives a shit?

Sure I'm bitter. I'm a champion underachiever. I'd be less pissed off if mine was a sport that was televised on ESPN 2. When that day comes I can promise you two things will happen: I'll ease up on competitive eaters and I will rule the world.

can food be news?

I am a little weary of most things being labeled "news" these days. Food would definitely fall into that. Is food news? Not speaking in terms of health or science, but just in general...

For example, The Salt Lake Tribune reports that "There is something casual and lighthearted about a Frittata"

Says you.