This just makes me sad.

The following is a direct quote from the daily herald online edition.

"Payson police say a dead man found by a jogger on Monday night was likely the result of a suicide stabbing.

They identified the body of the Payson man, but did not release a name Tuesday night because family was still being notified, said Lt. Bill Wright.

Early indications lead officials to believe the death was caused by self-inflicted knife wounds, but the suicide ruling is still preliminary, Wright said.

"We want to make sure we don't rush to judgement," Wright said.

A jogger found the body near 1000 W. 1550 South about 6:30 p.m. The person who died is described as between 20 and 30 years old and about 5 feet 8 inches tall with dark hair. There are no tattoos, with the only distinguishing feature being a "unibrow," Wright said.

The department has received calls of missing people from Ogden to Sandy and from within Payson."

gag me with a turkey

CNN.com posted an article today about competitive eating. George Shea, Chairman of the International Federation of Competitive Eating says people who compete in such contests are athletes who "train for their sport, working to improve jaw strength and increasing their stomach capacity."

I do that too, but I'm not an athlete I'm just fat and gross.

Mr. Shea is out promoting some turkey eating competition that will be televised on Spike TV. "Seeing these guys go at a 20 pound turkey is like poetry," he says.

I would have to disagree. Poetry can be bad sometimes but it should never make you vomit.

I know a lot of these "athletes" are not overweight and are in decent shape considering what they do, but watching them shove food down their throats might be the single most disgusting thing (outside of a White House press conference from the past seven years) I've seen. As my family can attest, considering some of the shit I've witnesses in the name of "special musical numbers" that's really saying a lot.

My biggest problem with these pseudo-sports (eating, cup stacking, soccer) is that at the end of the day who really gives a shit?

Sure I'm bitter. I'm a champion underachiever. I'd be less pissed off if mine was a sport that was televised on ESPN 2. When that day comes I can promise you two things will happen: I'll ease up on competitive eaters and I will rule the world.