some deep humor for you

I bask in the glow of a mega star

I was browsing through some CD's at FYE today when a I noticed a woman walk past with her son following close behind. The kid stopped on the rack opposite me, looking at whatever selection was on the other side. As I turned to leave, it occurred to me that I was mistaken. This wasn't some kid, this was Gary freakin Coleman.

Oh hell yes.

I lingered a bit to see what he and his lady were looking for. They seemed mildly impressed that the CD's were sorted by genre and then alphabetically. I couldn't tell if they were being glib with the employee that was helping them or not.

I didn't say hi or tell him what a stud he was. Gary Coleman already knows that. I simply continued browsing while an FYE associate did his best to help them locate a Kid Rock CD. I'm not even joking, that's exactly what they were looking for.

When the disc couldn't be located on the salesfloor, Gary and his lady followed the "music specialist" over to a help kiosk. As they did so, something caught Mr. Coleman's eye. He had stopped in front of a display of "hot sellers."

"Hey..." he said. "NIN? What is that?"

True story.

Best. Day. Ever.

Also, as a side note I can also tell you that he has the cutest little feet. Seriously.

I didn't need to know about this

CNN.com is reporting that scientists at Berkeley have demonstrated a material that is able to cloak three dimensional objects.

Geez that gives me heartburn. I'd say I hope that technology never falls into the wrong hands but I can't imagine there being any right hands in this situation. The horrifying possibilities are endless.

If there is a bright side to this situation, the fact that this is going on at Berkeley makes me wonder if this is less about military applications and more about some hippie scientists that can't afford to get caught smoking a fatty.

too lazy to look it up myself

Where do followers of Scientology go when they die? Cause wherever that is, those people are groovin to the sexy stylings of now deceased Mr. Isaac Hayes.

Later dude.

Why I love Lewis Black

Lewis Black says - "Blogging is like masturbating into a mirror and videotaping it so you can watch it later while you are masturbating."






I know this sounds silly but I can't help but wonder if he found my tapes...





I mean, how else would he know?

conversation with a... well I'm not really sure

This is an actual conversation (part of a greater conversation that plumbed the depths of absolute absurdity) I had with one of this single most bizarre individuals (BZ)I have met in a very long time.

BZ - So what do you do besides S-Mart?

Me - I'm a stay at home dad.

BZ - Cool. (long pause) So... do you have kids?

Me - uh (pause) yes.

BZ - That's cool. I love kids. I have a kid.

Me - (spoken with that rather frightened hope he's not serious tone) huh.

BZ - No not yet, I don't have any kids yet but I have one on the way.

Me - okay. (moving on, walking away)

BZ - Well... (following me) actually I'm not married so I don't have a kid on the way but since I am
going to have kids I kind've have a kid on the way.

Me - No, actually you don't. Not at all.

BZ - But I'm about to get married.

Me - gee I doubt it.

BZ - I know but I want to so as soon as I ask someone so whenever that is it will be like three months
later.

Churchill's Down by 2der Mooby

Over the last few weeks I've been working on a ton of new stuff to help expand my little music project. This is one of several tracks that I'll soon be pushing on local clubs until they all get restraining orders. It still needs some work (I've got to fine tune some of the drum channels and fix a few issues with the fx levels) but this will at least give you the idea.

yet another true story

I shared the story detailed in the previous post with a neighbor who as soon as they heard the french toast bit asked me if I remembered when "they wanted to rename french fries to freedom fries."

I rolled my eyes and changed the subject.

OF COURSE I REMEMBER! It just MIGHT have something to do with why I would bother telling the story in the first place. As much as I dislike people who go around explaining why everything is funny (what am I five?) I certainly don't need it in the case of my own jokes.

Sure, we've all missed a joke now and then and that's fine. We each as individuals have the capacity to ask for clarification or we can even research it for ourselves (hooray for Google! - I just made twenty-five cents) if we find it that important. In some cases we can even let apathy drive us and we simply move on with our lives. Part of the beauty of humor is not everyone gets everything. That's just how it is and how it always will be.

But there seem to be some people who think they are so much more clever than the rest of us that they spend too much time explaining every last joke or silly moment in every story, film, television show and Wierd Al hit single and that takes the fun out of everything.

Quit leaching the fun out of funny, you monsters!

Happy Fourth

Hope everyone enjoys their Fourth of July. I Celebrated mine with breakfast at some place that had the audacity to serve all you can eat French Toast. For some reason I don't think Dick Cheney would approve.

get on the green train

RECYCLING!

It's the new "not giving a shit"