real conversations

stranger - do you know what time it is?
me - vaguely.
stranger - cool, what time is it?

we don't need new words

The twitter elite, those who manage to attract masses to their constant barrage of drivel and pointlessness in 140 characters or less, are being referred to as the Twitterati.

Seems like a waste of a word since we already have a perfect description for them.




Douche Bags.

another question

Is it really necessary to mow your lawn at 8 in the damn morning?

I need new neighbors.

Questions that need answers

When people visit France, they always wax sentimental about "Gay Paris." Is there even a "Not Gay Paris?"

A friend of mine recently told me about how horrible his day was because some girl came into his place of business (a fast food establishment) and flashed her tits for some free garlic bread. Are you fucking serious? Can I please have your life (well... except for the job part I suppose) where that is considered a low point? Please?

I can't wait till Utah decides that mixing drinks behind a ten foot wall isn't enough. I'm waiting for the day when I order my El Presidente Margarita at Chili's and they bring out my salt-rimmed glass, blue plastic shake brimming with watered down booze, and my isolation booth to drink it in. I'm guessing that happens sooner than later.

Why am I unable to quell my most irrational fears? For instance, I am terrified that someone might find out that I easily watch 2 or 3 hours of programming on E! every week.

Oops.

RV sales not down in Utah

There's an article in the SL tribune today that says that RV sales this year are about the same as last year. What they don't mention is that while last year Utahns were buying RV's for camping, this year they are buying them for living in... not to mention it's nice to have a house on wheels when the bill collectors come looking for you.

the toilet never knew what hit it

This is my new favorite picture of all time.

I promise this isn't my toilet. It's... well, it was a public toilet in a mens room in a Centerville, Utah Carl's Jr. and it didn't even have anything to do with their Jalapeno Burger. This porcelain throne was the victim of a handgun that went off when an armed (this is Utah after all, so many people here are armed) patron was hitching up his pants and the gun went off.

You can read the whole story here.