Foiled!

My G-mail invites are useless! I am no longer über-superior with my invite only G-mail. Any Tom, Dick, or robot Cheney can get an account by going to the page and "selecting a name." That means anyone (and I mean anyone) can have G-mail.

Poop!

Not that I ever used my invites. The point of the invites was never to share but to lord my coolness over the masses (as if G-mail was really that exclusive, but still...) and now that they are worthless there is no point in denying them. On the other hand, why use them now? Why bother?!

I remember when I was (at least, or perhaps at best) a member of the upper echelons of the lower internet class but now I am nothing more than an internet peasant. I might as well go back to dial-up.



The real tragedy here is that this has only recently occurred to me. How many months am I behind the curve here? I only ask that you hit me quick with the reality so my true humiliation can begin.

VP Update

Dick Cheney reportedly left the hospital after having surgery to receive a "new battery" for his pace maker. As if we didn't know this was simply another in a long line of procedures replacing Mr. Cheney's organs with robot parts. Right now in robot terms he's probably about a C-3PO without the gayness. Also instead of being fluent in 6 million forms of communication he's just an asshole. He is not yet as terrifying as a Terminator but already infinitely cooler than Short Circuit's Johnny Number 5.

Interestingly when all is said and done he will actually be more human than he is now.

new business venture

I'd like to start producing audio commentaries for books but I suspect they may be wildly unpopular

boss jokes

You've probably heard how given enough time a certain number of monkeys banging away at typewriters would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare. I never understood why the bar for that probability had to be set so high, as I would be impressed if a bunch of monkeys eventually came up with the first three chapters of Tuesdays with Morrie.

But then I think of replacing those monkeys with the people I work for and I doubt they could hammer out a Dick & Jane in any amount of time even if they were using the actual book as a reference.

and another thing...

I've always wanted to try matzo but I've never had the balls.

Speaking of the Spice Girls...

America is getting dumber, I can not deny that. It does warm my heart to see that I'm not the only one that doesn't give a shit about David Beckham and his former Spice Girl wife. A reality show about their arrival here in the States was watched by fewer people than watched a repeat of Wife Swap.

In the war against this nation's burgeoning stupidity it's not a victory per se, but every little bit counts.


entry notes
In case my brother is curious how much I just don't care about these two human beings (and as far as I'm concerned they barely qualify that characterization) I put them right up there next to your recent estimation of Larry King.

If other readers are curious as to what that means exactly, let's say for now that it is not good.

One final note, anything in italics on this blog should be read in the voice of John C. Mcginley as Dr. Cox from Scrubs unless otherwise noted.

Hells Bells Yes

Way back in 1980, a little band called AC/DC closed their Back in Black album with a song that mentioned among other things that "rock and roll ain't gonna die," and how right they were. I always imagined they were speaking in generalities but it need not apply to more than that particular album which last year (26 years later) sold 440,000 copies.

Why would I even bother bringing this up? First of all, Back in Black is a great album that like a fine wine has only gotten better with age. Secondly, there was an article about it on CNN.com... duh.

What amuses me most about this article and the numbers from Nielson Soundscan is that they confirm that rock and roll ain't noise pollution while simultaneously suggesting that Ace of Bass, Bobby Brown and the Spice Girls (and other musicians of that ilk) just might be.

Not that the notion should shock anyone.

Goodbye St. Francis

The St. Francis Church was leveled to nothingness today. It's only a matter of time before that particular corner of Provo is turned into a cost cutting monstrosity (most likely apartments) covered in some shade of brown stucco.


It's sad to see it go as so much of the older and interesting bits of this town I live in slip away in the name of progress and student housing. Much of the new architecture is bland and soulless and worst of all unimaginative. Shouldn't be a shock, as this really is the town with the least taste per capita.

who puts holidays in the middle of the week?

Should I blame my age? Am I getting old when mid-week holidays bug me worse than holidays falling on a Sunday only to be celebrated on Monday?

The problem is that one day transition into the regular week (or simply regularity), that state of mind we call "Monday." We all know how sometimes Tuesday can feel like a Monday, and perhaps I have been conditioned by a lifetime of Memorial/Labor/Presidents Days (and the rest) for it to be less offensive when I encounter a Tuesday of that ilk.

I've been in a bit of funk today and I only recently figured it out (thanks to Sean Means for helping me locate the source of my troubles). Thursday should never feel like a Monday. It is unnatural and it is not right.

I won't stand for it.

Even worse, what does that mean for July 5th next year?