Friday, June 10, 2005

tales from the dark side

I was with my bud after we had dropped his girlfriend off from school. She lived in a classy neighborhood with these monstrous houses. As we drove down the street one house in particular stood out and I wondered out loud who would live in such a place.

"uh..." my friend hesitated before revealing the best news I had ever heard. "Marie Osmond lives there."

That was too much. Armed with such information... how could I possibly escape the trappings of youth?
What would you do?


We toilet papered the place.


As grand as I remember this being, we only got part of the front porch and one fence. The yard had not been landscaped yet so there was only this spindly little tree in the front.

Get a few beers in me and it sounds like I was storming the beach at Normandy:

Tex is down!”

“Help me, Sarge!”

“We can’t leave a man behind!”


I know it didn’t happen quite like that… But I still toilet papered Marie Osmond's house.

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