best attraction in the west my ass

Talk about getting a little too full of yourself...

Hogle Zoo and This is the Place Monument will be joining forces to become one mega super attraction. Ellis Ivory, a spokesman for the project claims it could become "... one of the greatest attractions in the west."

That is a bold statement to say the least, considering that right now on the official List of Great Attractions in the West, they rank 457, and 458 (respectively) out of 500, right after the American Museum of Root Canals but before my cousin Franks hot tub... and that’s not saying much considering Franks hot tub has green water, and not from the chemicals he puts in it either.

As a life long resident (very nearly anyway) of this homey yet sometimes backward state, I have to admit that I have a very hard time imagining a joint venture between these parks at all, let alone the result being one of the greatest attractions in the west. To be sure, something HAS to be done for the animals at Hogle Zoo. The last time I visited, I was shocked at how underwhelming the habitats were and how listless many of the animals appeared.

On the other side of this bizarre little coin is the Mormon history site... I understand the church (in Utah that’s the LDS church) is downplaying the polygamy part of their history, which is too bad since the many wives of Brigham Young play quite heavily in the monuments history. Is adding a zoo and a miniature railroad really going to bring it to a level of the greatest attractions in the west? And by that I of course mean the happiest place on earth... Olympic Gardens (say hooray for boobies!)

I can see it now... an Ameican religious history tour with monkeys and penguins. You'll be able to get those little wax lions from a machine that sits next to the booth that sells a Brigham Young giant foam finger...

I feel like a line is being crossed here but I'm not sure where it is exactly, but do know that if they build a rollercoaster called "Brigham’s First Twenty Wives," well... a guy can dream can't he?

Then again, maybe I am overreacting here. Perhaps Mr. Ellis only meant that this would be one of the greatest attractions in the west[ern portion of Salt Lake City 's east side]. God knows I've misread the news before.