I can't believe this didn't fall under the category of "breaking news" but CNN.com reports that even a lumbering T-Rex (far from the fastest of dinosaurs) could outrun David Beckham. Now there is some information that will come in handy.
As you may or may not know, I have spent the better portion of the last 15 years (when I first read Jurassic Park) and billions of dollars in a effort to clone a Tyrannosaurus Rex for the specific purpose of eating David Beckham. According to this report that was time well spent. I no longer have to worry about surprising "Becks" with a massive T-Rex (that being the X factor in the plan) , rather I can set the beast loose in his general vicinity and only hope that by the time Rexy catches the world class soccer player he will not already have a belly full of bystanders (that would be the "collateral damage" as they say in the biz).
The only down side to my plan is that even as dinosaur poop we all know that Mr. Beckham will be featured more prevalently in the news than any shit that really matters.
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3 comments:
I wish I were smart enough to come up with an appropriately snarky comment that's basically "in character," so to speak, but alas...so instead:
Simply put, that last line about dino poop is the wittiest truism I'm read is AGES! Nicely done!!!
Yo Bro
Yeah, how am I supposed to read about Britney, Lindsay and Paris when this Beckham guy takes up all of the good color photo spots in the papers. . . on second thought, maybe you should clone a half dozen T-Rexes and make that target list just a little longer.
Do I really need more than one T-Rex?
I need only broaden my vision of evil (although it can't be that evil considering all the good it would bring the world).
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