Jerkoff
So, you guys going to have any big sales on friday?
Me
No, actually I don't even think we're open on that day.
Jerkoff
Really? It's like the biggest shopping day of the year.
Me
I'll pass that along to my boss next time I see him.
So, you guys going to have any big sales on friday?
Me
No, actually I don't even think we're open on that day.
Jerkoff
Really? It's like the biggest shopping day of the year.
Me
I'll pass that along to my boss next time I see him.
Another classic one is where the jerkoff thinks I will give them inside information on the sale...
Jerkoff
So, what are some of the big sale items for black friday?
Me
We'll have a two for one on douche bags, same as every friday.
Jerkoff
That's funny. Seriously, what do you guys have?
Me
If you go straight to the doors in the very back, we'll be selling some
children we saved from a burning orphanage.
Jerkoff
What?!
Me
Sure, you'll be doing them a huge favor. Any that we don't sell will be
shipped to Thailand.
Jerkoff
Why would I want to buy a kid?
Me
Yeah, you're probably better off with the douche bags.
You'll enjoy the company I'm sure.
So, what are some of the big sale items for black friday?
Me
We'll have a two for one on douche bags, same as every friday.
Jerkoff
That's funny. Seriously, what do you guys have?
Me
If you go straight to the doors in the very back, we'll be selling some
children we saved from a burning orphanage.
Jerkoff
What?!
Me
Sure, you'll be doing them a huge favor. Any that we don't sell will be
shipped to Thailand.
Jerkoff
Why would I want to buy a kid?
Me
Yeah, you're probably better off with the douche bags.
You'll enjoy the company I'm sure.
My absolute favorite is the assumption that I have insider information on other retail chains sales...
Jerkoff
So, you know what any of the other stores are going to have this year?
Me
Are you retarded? Cause I saw you driving before in a van with your
kids in it, but now I think you shouldn't risk putting your children in
danger. Excuse me while I make a few calls.
So, you know what any of the other stores are going to have this year?
Me
Are you retarded? Cause I saw you driving before in a van with your
kids in it, but now I think you shouldn't risk putting your children in
danger. Excuse me while I make a few calls.
I know it's a little late to stop anyone from bugging the shit out of me this year since that week has passed but please spread the word: If you know someone who works in retail and you are about to ask them about Black Friday, try instead something they might give a shit about, like a conversation about the weather or your last bowel movement.
And you wonder why I'm going to start telling people who ask that I'm a professional pornographer.
2 comments:
HELLS YEAH I agree fully, its about time the world knows the truth behind you
Yo Bro warns: bad plan, dude! saying you're a pornographer will NOT stop the stoopid questions...quite the contrary!! they'll just be stoopid AND gross.
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