Wednesday, December 24, 2008

words I hate

As a pacifist I am obviously never going to do anything violent, but there are moments when I come really, really close. I frequently get the urge to punch people in the teeth when they use certain words that manage to bug the living hell out of me for some unexplained reason. Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's some cosmic force pressing me into some horrible violence in the future... only time will tell. Until then can anyone please explain why these words make me want to choke the people who say them? And it doesn't matter who says them, my best friends, some random douchebag, or my own mom.

To be clear, if you are someone in my little universe that I am so clearly the center of and you say these words, I do not dislike you. Unless of course you suck, but since I don't spend a lot of time talking or even listening to people who suck let me assure you that I don't always hate the messenger (unless you use fancy as a verb) but since my minds eye is unable to visualize violence upon a word I suppose I focus momentarily on the next best thing...

But I digress.

Guesstimate is one of those words. I just hate it. And it's not the portmanteau specifically that bothers me, something about the sound of it simply causes me to bristle. Maybe it is that it sounds so damn dumb to me. Does that make me a pretentious prick? Perhaps... and an aliterative arsehole to boot.

Another one that is starting to gain some popularity is the word frenemy. It sounds like one of those words that was made up by someone trying to be cute and clever. Screw that shit. I can pass on both of those things. I get what it means, but the sound of the word on my eardrums causes indescribable agitation.

Again, I really don't hate every word that was created by jamming two others together. For example, I love brunch and not just the meal but the sound of the word is so damn soothing. I won't deny that my love for that word might be food related.

How about Reganomics? There's a word that doesn't make me want to choke anyone. I am also fairly neutral when it comes to chunnel. But say fugly in my presence and I will murder you in my mind.

Here's something interesting. I don't like the word humanzee, but I don't hate it. On the other hand Slanguage will send me right into a tizzy. The worst kind of tizzy. A worizzy if you will.

Wow, I hate that word too.

I guess I am crazy. No surprise there I suppose.

Is there a pill that will help me? Some snappy comment on my blog from a prominent wiseass?

Anything?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just heard frenemy the other day for the first time. Funny you would bring it up.

Frenemy is stupid simply by what it implies. Like there is nothing between friends and enemies. What a silly notion. If you're not my friend I hate you? Pretty narrow way to label people.

Either I like you, don't know you, or don't like you. I don't dislike my friends. Otherwise, how can they be.

I am guilty of using Fugly often though.

Faux Frenchie said...

Oops...I hope you don't hate the word infomercial since I sent it to you in an email before reading this post.

Mr. Blunderson said...

Weird, infomercial doesn't bug me BUT infotainment does.

Also, I find it funny that I forgot to mention stick-to-it-iveness which is the word I hate most of all.

Alijuna said...

Many of these words I have never heard of. I must admit that I am not a fan of slanguage.

Anonymous said...

Like I said, it was funny he mentioned frenemy, since I had JUST heard it a couple of days before that.

Anonymous said...

I think fugly goes right up there with all the LDS variants like freakin'. Except fugly makes me laugh.