when is enough enough?

Producers are hoping to release yet another prequel to Silence of the Lambs next year. Behind the Mask will follow Dr. Lecter as a young lad, depicting his descent into the monster that is is today... did I say monster? Cash cow would be more appropriate.

Follow the money - The first film made 130 meellion. I personally think that was a good movie so I have no problem with that. Hannibal nabbed 165 meellion at the box office. This also happens to be the highest grossing non-Harry Potter "H" film of all time. Red Dragon (the first prequel) made 93 meellion.

Let us not forget that way back in 1986 Lecter made his silver screen debut (played by the great Brian Cox) in little movie directed by Michael Mann. It was called Manhunter and was based on the Red Dragon book by Thomas Harris and it banked less than 10 meellion at theaters, but it happens to be a better movie than anything Bret Ratner will ever make, even if he manages to channel Bergman at some point.

Back to my point, this strikes me a some serious overkill. Too much Hannibal Lecter. This will be the third film released in five years and fifth overall. Hannibal and Red Dragon were not that good. I don't care how they did at the box office, they were lame, lame, lame! Bret Ratner?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ARGH!

I'll admit that Dr. Lecter was one of the coolest villains ever, but this horse is d-e-a-d. If you keep beating it the PETA people are going to start screaming louder than the little lambs in Agent Starling's dreams.

I don't have the stomach for another one.

just for today

It fascinates me that the media is able to use its power to get Americans off their lazy asses and doing things. I appreciate that recent news coverage has motivated a staggering number of people to arrange living wills and keep their children sheltered from creepy pop stars, but I wish there was something else going on in the world that could get us all riled up...

It's too damn bad there are no causes out there. Too. Damn. Bad.

ignore this (if you don't have robot ears)

I just discovered my song Evat Noxus is #31 on the experimental charts at soundclick.com. That matches the highest I've ever been on the charts - Way of the Roon reached #31 on the House charts late last year.

Lately there has been a huge increase in song plays and downloads. I currently have songs in three categories climbing the charts. If you are listening to the music of 2der Mooby, thanks. Sorry if it made you vomit.

i expand my horizons

BBC News (world edition) reports that the US 'knows little about its foes.'

As if that is even news. This is Administration Policy. What the good (yet British) folks at BBC News fail to realize is that what is important here is the US knows who its foes are. That's all we need to know.

Bombs Away.

jail house saga

The good news is that Eyejae is out of jail and the charges have been dropped. The bad news is that her attorney is currently being held on multiple charges, including contempt, practicing without a license, and operating with the first name of Flash. Good luck Mr. Van Shatner. Watch your corn-hole.

i hate the future

CNN.Com is reporting that soft tissue was found in a T-Rex fossil... Tissue that could allow scientists to study dinosaurs at a cellular level in ways we never thought possible before...

Is it me or does now seem like a really good time to start retro-fitting our bomb shelters to be T-Rex proof?

more scary stuff

I remembered more things that scare me at work.

Coworkers asking if we had any copies of The Count of Monte "Crisco" while the DVD was on sale for 10 bucks.

During our last back to school season we sold these S-Mart brand glue sticks that came in a two pack. Sadly, many of them never made it to the shelf since the glue that was supposed to hold the packaging together didn't work well... I wonder if they were made with the same glue?

In other news,I am pleased to announce that my dear friend Eyejay is the new president of my fan club. Her first duty as president will be to go kick Yale President Richard Levin's ass.

I used my S-Mart messenger bag last night in a non flaming bag of poop related instance. So far so good.

friday observations

How is it that the only people who actually "cry like a little girl" are men?

* * *

When will people stop referring to a large quantity as a butt-load? My own butt doesn't hold all that much... nothing that would require any heavy lifting. I don't get it.

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How can something be "boring as hell?" Hell is likely many, many things but boring is something I can't imagine it ever being.

* * *

I work with a guy who is a full on "garment gangsta" (my own phrase, thank you). He tries to be gangsta and good Mormon at the same time. Be who you want to be, I am all for that. especially if whatever you are will provide me with hours of side-splitting entertainment... yes I am a bastard. All I want to say dude, is either swear or don't swear. If I hear this guy utter the word sheeeiz one more time I just might be forced to lay the smack down on your candy asp.

it IS my bag, baby!

Mere hours after my last entry mentioned I had not yet recieved my messenger bag from S-Mart, the UPS lady came trudging up my walk with a package just for me. Now I have a hat, bag, and a yo-yo. If I were to wear them all at once along with my work shirt and name badge I may very well be the coolest guy on my block.

things that scare me

In my time working at S-Mart, the soulless retailer that employs my sorry ass, I've discovered some information that causes me to be very frightened. Here are the few I can mention without losing my job.

I work with people who don't know the difference between college ruled and wide ruled paper and notebooks. If only the difference was made clear on the PACKAGE OR SOMETHING!

My store sells enough Swiss Army Pocket Knives to have armed the entire population of this gun-loving conservative county with tiny stabbing implements more than a dozen times over. I'm not talking about Utra-Rambo survival knives that so many of my neighbors picked up at their local Wal-Mart... I'm talking about the small efficiant killing machines that will go virtually undetected until you are being stabbed in the ribs by your crazed violent assailent.

On the positive side, while you are dining at any of our fine family resteraunts you'll never bee too far away from someone who has one of those really sturdy Swiss Army Knife toothpicks. If you don't know what I mean, you haven't eaten at Ruby River lately... or Sizzler ever.

I have a pretty good idea of just how many copies of Ever After are floating around the valley... this actually scares the crap out of me. I have been told that it is a real "up with woman" movie. That's an accurate assessment as long as you are insane. A little secret folks: Ever After is to girl power what Eminem is to PFLAG.

At S-Mart (and probably everywhere else for that matter) we sell country singer George Strait's "50 #1 Country Hits" CD. That totally boggles my mind. 50! FIFTY... no friggin way The Beatles had that many number ones. This kind of had me shook up until it occurred to me that Mr. Strait is a COUNTRY SINGER and so it doesn't bother me anymore. Those are number one hits for people who think raccoon caps are cool. I could have had 50 number one hits on the country charts but my mom taught me to flush after using the toilet.


notes
it has been ten days since I ordered my messenger bag as my gift from work. As Michael Palin once said, "STILL no sign of land."

I do not Yahoo. Please stop asking.

Dave Chappelle + Wayne Brady = best. sketch. ever.