106th entry!

I can’t believe this is already 106! What a landmark… ugh... Unfortunately, every single one of those entries represents a period of time that I focused on this project that could have been spent elsewhere. I guess any amount of time spent on anything COULD theoretically have been spent doing something else, but since you only spend time actually doing the things that you do why worry about what you could have or even should have done, because then you are only spending more time doing something that you probably shouldn’t? Even knowing this doesn’t change what you do. In a lot of cases worrying about it doesn’t help at all. The bottom line is that you didn’t do whatever it is you could have done, and to be perfectly cynical you probably won’t in the future either.

That’s why instead of trying to be clever or witty, I’m going to be a downer. Not because I should, because I could.

I have a lot of reason to be. But I have more reasons to be happy. In my real life (the life where my last name isn’t Blunderson and I don’t receive threats from an Ivy League College President) I have been going through a period of deep and intense introspection and am trying to figure out what is most important to me and which path I should choose from here (insert obligatory Robert Frost reference at your own leisure).

Part of that includes looking back through my hundred and five entries and watching certain events and moments from my life play out in a way where I am a third party spectator. This blog tells me a lot more about myself than anyone else. Its ironic perhaps that my blog, posted on the web for all to see, is actually an intensely personal exercise in my own existence.

Maybe that’s not ironic at all.

All I know is that the road toward my 212^th post is much less clear than I thought it was, and that I need to stay on the road to avoid meaningless wandering and getting lost.