The first thing I do after I punch my time card for the soulless retailer that employs my sorry ass, is traverse the sales floor as I make my way back to the receiving dock which is where I actually begin each night of work. It's a treacherous journey considering that the store is often open a whole hour after I arrive, and it would be safe to say that avoiding customers on my way to the back is more than a hobby of mine.
I've actually done a really good job of not interacting with customers for a very long time. The last time I was stopped on the sales floor by someone with a question was before Christmas. It was a couple that was searching for something a family member had registered for--a set of Rubbermaid containers with your choice of blue or red lids.
At one point I actually had dreams of a Cal Ripken type streak of not helping customers. Unfortunately, I have to start all over. Tonight I was approached by a young couple as I was literally feet from once again crossing the floor being the absolute least help possible. They asked me where they might find some folding chairs and before I could take them there, the woman said this:
"I know you hate helping us."
I froze. Could they read my mind? How frightening. But this fear was quickly put to rest.
"I mean, I know how it is. I used to work at Shopko and my husband works and Costco. So we know what its like to have to help someone... what a drag it is."
Never mind the fact that I actually work graveyards so I can avoid contact with the masses of idiots that pour into my store on a daily basis. Ignore for a moment the pain I felt knowing my streak had been broken. Delete from your mind the fact that the item they were looking for was just a few feet away she made that comment...
I stopped to look these people in the eye as I said "As long as we're clear on that."
I took them the last few steps to the chairs before letting them know where I'd be incase they needed anymore help.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
last night I was asked where the ice cream toppings were from a lady who just put ice cream in her cart. i had the joy of pointing right behind her, 4 feet from where she was just standing. i smiled and whispered 'dumb ass' with out her hearing.....i swear some people exist just to amuse me and make me feel smarter. to bad that i rate my intelligence on knowing where the toppings are ;)
No, no, NO!
You need to make "helping" customers an amusing social experience!
First, you get a fake mustache from a costume shop. Then you make yourself a nametag that says "Jorge" on it. (Don't even pretend that you haven't made tons of false nametags already!) Then, armed with these "accoutrements" you wander...nay, SWAGGER!...slowly from the front to the back of the store in such a way as to actually ENCOURAGE questions from customers (all the while avoiding managers, of course). Then, no matter what they ask for, point to the far opposite corner of the store and tell them "It's on aisle 8 right between the pretzles and the expresso machines! Have a nice day!" Then flash'em your pearly whites and move on.
If the point you indicate is far enough away from your path and you move slowly enough, you may be able to "help" 2 or 3 times before you get to the back (where you will quickly remove the oh-so-clever disguise).
Try it!
You'll thank me one day. I guarantee it!
Post a Comment