Tuesday, March 1, 2005

blog rating system

Now that I have my own blog, I find it not only interesting but even a bit of fun to dig around the net to see what other people are doing on their blogs. In doing this I have found that it might be useful for those who blog to come to a consensus for a universal rating system that might provide the interested Internet public with a little warning before they are suddenly up to their eye-balls in something they don’t want to read.

Here are a just a few of my own suggestions based upon what I have seen so far.

BLOG – E (everyone) would be for a blog that will bore everybody. This would be the most widely used of my suggested ratings.

BLOG – GH (girl-hater) would be attached to the guy who started his blog right after his girlfriend dumped him. This would allow anyone who has no use for a girl-hating diatribe to move on to something more interesting… like midget porn.

BLOG – MH (man-hater) see above.

BLOG – HR&S (hates Ren & Stimpy) You bloated sacks of PROTOPLASM!

BLOG – NBL (never been laid) would be for blogs written by people who have never been laid.

BLOG – DWHD3GHDFECILOTRM (dork who has dedicated 3 gig of hard drive for entries concerning inaccuracies in the Lord of the Rings movies) is fairly self explanatory. This rating would also exist at an 18 and 47 Gig category.

BLOG - DC (Dawson's Creek) is for people who think their lives are more interesting than re-runs on the WB.

BLOG – J (The Jeffersons) see above.

BLOG – X-FILES (X-Files) is for people who think the X-Files are real.

BLOG – ILB (I love Bush) is for right wing nut jobs that make Bill O’Reilly look like a buddy of Michael Moore’s.

BLOG – FBF (Fat Bastard Fan) is still undecided. Its either going to be for people who love that particular villain of the Austin Powers movies or for people who read my blog… time will tell.

BLOG – PP (pretentious poetry) is perhaps one of the most frightening warnings I could issue. These “poets” (and I use the term loosely) who defend any criticism of their work with the words “you don’t understand,” or “you’re not smart enough.” Blogs needing this warning can be identified by the rampant use of the word “oblivion” in said poems.


As I said these are simply suggestions, only a vote of a 2/3 majority by the Grand High Imperial Blog Council will ever ratify these changes, so please contact your local blogger to vote yes on bill 762-A47. I’d vote but they kicked me out for making fun of their blogs.


notes
This blog was rated BLOG – THF (thinks he’s funny)

Please check out the blog of my good friend Pat Van Wagner at Vanwagner.mine.nu His blog is rated BLOG – MF… because he’s a Mets Fan.

The word “blog” or an incarnation thereof appears 30 times in this entry, yet I only resorted to using ellipsis three times… I mean, four times.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keely says -

so i hope you see this. i told you at the christmas concert that i really enjoyed reading your blog. you said you'd update it.. i stopped checking after a while because you hadn't yet. i'm glad you started to again. i really like reading it. i have a stupid page on one of those sites (in the url space above is the address) because i'm too lame and lazy to create one of my own. i mostly have crapy poetry in my blog section. anyway. i wanted to let you know i still read it. also i agree with the blog rating system. i love finding well thought out well writen blogs.