can you hear me screaming?

Anyone who reads my blog knows how much Hollywood remakes bug the living shit out of me. This morning, I am LIVID as all get out. WHY? Because the uberhack is going to destroy a truly great film.

I'm talking about The Birds, the classic by Alfred Hitchcock. This is a film so chilling and so well executed that people who haven't even seen the movie get creeped out in the proximity of birds... because they know of this movie about birds attacking people...

The Hollywood Reporter confirms that Mr. Bay's production company is negotiating to produce a remake or "new version"... If the people at Universal (who own the rights to the movie and the short story on which it was based) have any decency at all they will tell Michael Bay to go back to the hell whence he came right before they drive a wooden stake through his cold black heart.

The sad truth is that I can bitch about how blasphemous these remakes are, and what horrible films they are, and call Michael Bay the "uberhack" until yaks learn to spell, but it won't change the fact that these films are making money. Lots and lots of money.

This only strengthens my theory that people in the USA are getting stupider every day. If I wasn't so cynical, I'd say it was something in the water, but that sort of problem would have an obvious solution.

People like the uberhack simply exploit this stupidity and make millions of dollars off the dummies. Yea Capitalism! Its the American Way--the ONLY way, if you will.

A brief note - I do not mean to imply that everyone should be smart like me... I'm not that smart. I do advocate not being dumber than me. People who are dumber than me are scary and they should scare you too. There seem to be more and more of them everyday. One dies and three take its place. This is an issue that has to be dealt with. Although not on par with say literacy, health care or gay rights, I think eliminating the dumbness will put us in a better position to deal with the real problems in our country and ultimately our world.

original comments
yo bro - The sad thing is that one from the growing group of people dumber than you is actually RUNNING THIS COUNTRY! And believe me...I *am* scared!!

Tragicgrrl - They're going to re-make the birds? UGH! They cannot give the creepiness justice! Any movie can't! I have read it a zillion times, it creeps me out horrendously! Once, about my 5th re-read, (1st as an adult)I was JUST at the point where the damn birds try to divebomb him as he's trying to get back to the house & a HUGE seagull bombed & screamed past the window that was RIGHT by my elbow! I dropped my coffee cup, dropped the book & jumped about 5' back from the window, I had to call my best friend to calm down,..I get waaay too into my books! The films make me giggle.