i'm so confused

I was watching a documentary on the making of The Amityville Horror remake, where everyone involved--actors, writers, director, grips, Kraft Services personel--were touting that this was the scariest movie ever.

And every one of these quotes, coming at two minute intervals through the entire half-hour, included the words "its so scary cause its ALL true!"

I also loved this one - "frame by frame, everything you see really happened."

Or, "it's scary cause every single thing you see is REAL! It really happened!"

For those of you who don't know, this is a remake of a classic 70's horror flick of the same name. The plot breakdown of this new version (not the original, mind you) is this: a haunted house with a chilling past drives a father to insanity. Horror ensues as he tries to off his family.

At the end of the documentary, the director was saying that there were really only two things that they knew for sure. There was a murder in the house before the Lutz family moved in, and 28 days after moving in the Lutz family left the house and vowed never to return.

What?! What happened to frame by frame?! You guys said frame by frame! What about where you said everything in the movie actually happened?

How can everything else be true if those are the only "facts" you have to go from? My head is going to explode.

Please... the only thing frightening about this film is that it was produced by uberhack Michael Bay. I know for a fact that there is a special place in hell for this guy... somewhere between Kurt Bestor and the New Kids on the Block, and not far from John Hughes. Contrary to popular belief, they do not seat alphabetically in hell.

Also scary is that people will buy into the "true story" and pay cash money to see it.

Screw you guys! This is the same production house that said their remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was based on a true story... (me screaming into pillow)

There was a time when the words "based on a true story" meant something!

This "true" story was shown years ago to be one hundred percent crap. Bottom line, if you suddenly find yourself under the crushing weight of a mortgage you can't afford, start telling people your house is haunted. Once the well oiled PR machine is in motion, just sit back and watch the dollars start rolling in.

If you want to put your money toward a good horror movie about a haunted place with a chilling past that drives a father to insanity, where horror ensues as he tries to off his family, go rent the The Shining. It's based on a true story.

Well... not really.

original comments
Yo Bro - Yeah, kinda like how 'The Passion of the Christ' is, frame by frame, faithful (pun most definitely intended) to the Bible...let alone history. (snort!)

You forgot to mention that Mel Gibson, much to his own surprise, will find himself down there in Heaven's boiler room with Bay and friends.